No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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