We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
