I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
