I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
