it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
