Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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