3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
