His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
