woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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