last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
