"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
