My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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