just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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