Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
