when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
high people should be assigned attendants
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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