You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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