have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I fill condoms, not promises.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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