He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
