It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
