He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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