i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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