life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
