fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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