Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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