she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
