I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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