So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
