I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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