his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
A bitchslap is in order.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
