I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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