she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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