I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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