I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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