I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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