First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
