I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
