We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
