Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Drunk is not a location!
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