I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
