Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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