Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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