question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
