I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
