My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
