Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize