I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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