check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
