She said her name was "party"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
