He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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