Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
