Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So much rum. So many feels.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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