In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize