My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
