just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
