they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
