Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
