Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
