I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize