belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
