it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I faked an abortion last night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
