u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
