The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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