so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
