Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
