My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
