Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sobbing to NWA
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
