that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
